Allison Reynolds wrote an interesting blog post “On Being a Window Washer” She related it to her own experiences, asking why there were fewer successful female internet marketers, and reflecting on needing a mentor to bounce things off.
I started writing a reply but it got so long I decided I’d make it a blog post instead.
There are fewer women in Internet Marketing just as there are fewer women in business and marketing as a whole. The number of women getting involved in IT is declining, and many people springboard from IT into internet marketing because they think they already have the skills for it. Now, I’m not going to get into a debate about why this is, but I suspect it is partly an education issue, and partly about the way others view women and women view themselves. Who knows? There simply are fewer female Internet Marketers.
However, I do think there are more females IMers than anyone realises. Women are less likely to attend IM seminars (perhaps due to family constraints), and if you look at any IM forum there are many women subscribed to them and making some useful posts, but they tend not to be overly vocal. Many Work At Home Mums find there way into Internet Marketing but have no desire to use up their already precious time commenting in forums.
I have had this discussion with a number of female Internet Marketers. When you go to an IM seminar or read emails in this field there is the impression that there is a bit of a boy’s club that all the male IM “gurus” belong to. It’s not that they don’t have respect for the females out there - Rosalind Gardner, Alice Seba, Michelle Macpherson, to name just a few - it’s just boys will be boys, and they like their toys and partying together and showing off their cars and phones to each other. OK, maybe that’s a bit unfair. But, I think they do have a greater need to buddy-up with others in the same field as them.
Most women who are successful in the IM world have different priorities, and while they want to be successful in their field they are less concerned with letting everyone know about it. I know a few women who are super-successful Internet Marketers but they keep it very quiet - happy to get on with making the money without needing any of the glory. I also know a lot of women who are content to make a steady income in this field in order to be able to stay at home with their kids and have a good lifestyle but who have no intention of stepping it up and making millions.
If you are a woman in the IM world and are feeling isolated or want to find a female mentor, I would suggest you look within the forums you frequent or at seminars you attend. Make friends with people and keep an eye on who makes pointed observations. You will find that they are usually the ones who are least likely to make a noise or who are incredibly helpful but never brag.
I made a friend at the first marketing seminar I ever attended who pointed me towards the Thirty Day Challenge material from the first year. Since then we have attended a couple of seminars together and have stayed in touch. Whenever we meet up we have the best masterminding sessions. If you saw us at a seminar you would think I was the most successful simply because she is quite reserved about her business while I love the sound of my own voice 
(hazard of the job, and because my main focus has always been to sell my voiceover services). At the last seminar she even started telling everyone that I was her mentor, when if anything it is the other way round. It became an in joke! But it made me very conscious of the fact that at every seminar I have attended the people making the most noise are not usually the ones making the most money or having the most success.
You may have your male Internet Marketing “gurus” talking about their last masterminding session together in Las Vegas, but to be honest it pays for them to boost their connections because they are selling to the IM world. However, at any IM seminar you could be sitting next to someone who is making millions selling information products to Scuba Divers and just wants to keep a low profile. It’s not that they are avoiding conversations and friendships, they are just a little more careful about what they say and to whom they say it.
So, if you want to find a mentor or someone to brainstorm with, my recommendation is not to follow the loudest crowd but to strike up friendships and relationships with those you encounter in forums and at seminars. If you are doing the Thirty Day Challenge this year, become part of a group with people (or women) with different backgrounds, abilities and experience. Most people find their mentors initially through building a relationship or recommendations from friends. While it is possible to approach someone you respect directly and persuade them to be your mentor, forging an initial relationship with them will strengthen the chance of them saying yes.
13 comments ↓
Hi Lisa,
This post is right on. IMO many IM women are also moms, wives, off line biz owners and may also be caring for aging parents and therefore don’t have time to spend networking on line — it’s hard enough just getting our work accomplished while juggling family obligations.
But the Mastermind group I’m in currently formed as a result of us all meeting at the Paradise Point SD conference. We were all in attendance after TDC 06 and had communicated online during the Challenge initially . In fact, I recognized HarmonicBarbie aka Barb Sabathil from her online photo as I was exploring the grounds upon arrival and asked if it was she. JoAnne Westcott and I were roommies in SD, set up after our TDC experience. We’ve been meeting online about every other week ever since via Skype and Gizmo and I value their input greatly. We all bring something to the table and I don’t think any of us consider ourselves “gurus” to the rest of the group — we help each other with ideas, resources, etc. in whatever way we can. We’ve also talked about possibly creating a business together to incorporate all of our strengths and weaknesses — but, our family obligations and individual ventures seem to take priority so far.
For TDC 2007 our MM group was our ready-made team. We allowed two other men onto the team, but they wound up not participating.
I also realize they are the only women in my world I can talk with about my biz and who understand what the heck I am talking about!!
I’m glad you wrote about this. Found it on Twitter.
Cheers,
Linda Abbit
Great job with this article. As a child of the 50’s, I grew up with this perception and believed that it was the only path for me. So, I admit, I am a slow learner.
But I thought that the next generation had done a lot to pave the way for ceilings not made of glass. But perhaps not. But as Linda Abbit said above, we know that there are many women out there who just aren’t seen through the glass.
Your title reminded me of the famous Pete Seeger song, “Where have all the flowers gone?” I just don’t want to keep singing the last sentence: “When we they ever learn.”
I know we, they are out there. We just need to help us and them to become known. Your article may be a great start to do that.
I also found you and your great blog on Twitter. Made a post there as well. You have brightened my day today.
How True. Like your article I have been in the advertising marketing field for ++ year ( a women never gives a clue to age) anyhow, your spot on about reasonings and the relationship building.
In a way that most women would understand, if you relaite it to buying a dress, the best one is usually the one at the back of the rack and there is only one, not the dress that is in the fancy display.
I too have always made the choice for life over work, ego or noise making is more about family, the work is just what I do to be and provide and is flexed around family time.
Funny got me thinking, I started looking at my client list and about 65% are wome owned businesses and this was not done by intent either… kinda interesting.
Great post, Lisa!
It’s interesting how male internet marketers seem to be more visible; yet there really are plenty of women IMers around…I think we just choose to be lower profile, or perhaps it’s just our nature.
I agree with Linda’s comments above. The mastermind group we both belong is made up of four moms and one single gal (that’s me), and we all share a core set of similar values. Also, it doesn’t really matter that we all have different levels of expertise and success in IM; we really do all mentor each other and are richer for it. We tend to share what’s going on in our personal lives and support each other in those areas as well.
Ed Dale says that the Thirty Day Challenge has a 50/50 ratio of men to women, which is very interesting. Don’t know why that is, but maybe it’s not a coincidence that Ed espouses the same strong sense of community and family values that we women do…like attracts like!
Barb
Barb
You are all right! The playing it down and just knowing that your knowledge and skills, gained over a period of years are helpful is often enough, without the need to shout about it. Although I am not in IM, I recognise that I do need to shout a little louder about what I offer and that is why I have joined 30 Day Challenge.
Go girls!
Rosalind
Hi!
This is a great post as I often wondered why women weren’t behaving like those braggish male IMarketers. Being a woman myself I must admit that I have learnt from courses run by males but am also on Alice Sebas list.
I did the 30 Day Challenge last year and am doing it again and find it most informative and helpful. Actually I’ve found the information to be worth more than what I have paid for.
So I do not start any flame war, i agree that there is a disparity between compensations that a Male may get over a female.
But please, before you girls get on the male bashing wagon, it takes all types to make up this world.
I know of many loud brash, look at me females with overtly promiscuous, aggressive tendencies that are always viewed as being the habitual role in a male domain.
For us of the male gender that fully appreciate the female input I am quite happy to learn from any part of the human race that operates from the universal concepts of love, understanding, and mutual respect.
Perhaps it is the conditioning of our society that deem labels more important than our own sense of worth
Wow Lisa… sure did turn into a looong comment
Mix it in with this post http://www.whyshebuys.com/blog/calling-all-female-internet-marketers/ and the topic seems universal for us gals at the moment.
Thanks for the response it has certainly made me think more about the whole subject. For me I think, I am looking for someone who has taken these same or similar steps but before me, who can reassure me this is the right general direction. Guys don’t seem to need that kind of help and boldly go where no one has gone before.
Am I the only man to post, Oh goodie, LOL, I had to laugh at the point in your post where you say that the people that make the most noise are not always the people making the most money online in they’re business, just like in real life !! Good point very well made.
Hugh
I think you raise a very valid point about there NOT being enough lady IMers. I’ve always found that they are usually very productive, and honest in their dealings.
I honestly think that the reason there are NOT so many, is the fact that the female of the species, (at least here in the UK) are more intent on getting brain-dead most nights on booze, trying to out-bloke the blokes.
As you know, alchohol definitely ‘dulls’ the brain, and with it the impetus to concentrate on more cerebral activities.
I look forward to the females taking back their dignity and NOT trying to look all ‘blokey’, then they can carry on doing what they were designed for.
Ruling the World. (Good old Maggie Thatcher, where are you when the girls need you?)
Keep it up.
pete.
Very well said!! I would say all your stated reasons pretty much apply in my situation. Now to seek out a mentor…..
Very well put. I’ve been in careers where I was the “odd girl out” for over 20 years, so I never gave it much thought until I read your (& Allison’s) post. I realize I’ve picked up habits from these years as a way to fit in with the male culture and I see the result as having many more male friends than female. (Not just drinking as Pete said … those days are for the young!)
I think the key difference is how we are raised - even those of us with feminist mama’s really didn’t pick up the leadership mindset of our male counterparts. I know I didn’t - I had to find it myself and that was not easy to locate that small place between gregarious bitch and silent leader. I still find myself going to one side or the other when I don’t pay attention to myself.
What bothers me is that I don’t see the next generation of girls having any better luck and I’m not sure why. I hope I’m wrong.
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